- One 12 pound or larger turkey
- Two boxes (pounds) salted butter
- Two jars Orville Redenbacher popcorn or equivalent
- One large bean bag chair
- 10 pound ABC rated dry chemical fire extinguisher
Unwrap eight sticks butter and combine with popcorn, carefully stuffing your fowl with the mixture. Place unwrapped in large pan, placing into oven with open end of turkey facing the rear of the oven. Bake at 350. If speed is of the essence, broil position is a possibility.
Place bean bag chair at opposite end of kitchen, along with extinguisher.
When turkey erupts from oven, judiciously placed bean bag will receive bird. Fire extinguisher may not be needed if fowl makes a smooth landing in bean bag.
If turkey catches on flying oven door, and skitters into living room, pull pin on extinguisher and chase turkey.