Why won't it play music on microSD card?

“As I said, I tried this in both MSC and MTP modes. No difference.”

When you tried putting MSC trasferrred music on the card, did you first make sure to get rid of all the MTP trasferred music? 

Trying a different card is a good idea. You could use a 32GB one.  I suggest getting a Sandisk class 4 card sealed in the retail package from a trustworthy dealer. These are very cheap now.