05-29-2009 12:00 PM
A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
note i am jamaican and i hope no lawyers get offened by this
05-29-2009 03:20 PM
Gotta have a disclaimer... lawyers will come after you... its their job
Did you notice this forum has a search function? Its not impossible to figure that someone else asked your question before you did, and we have answered it(probably multiple times). Check it out! Or Check out the Knowledge Base
05-29-2009 04:29 PM
You took the words right out of my mouth, gwk.
Most lawyers are pretty offensive already . . . that's their job. If they weren't, you wouldn't want them defending or representing you.
Like Jim Croce's "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown", you want the "baddest man in the whole damm town".
05-29-2009 08:09 PM
musiclord: that's a good joke.
Here's one you may find funny.
One dark night in the small town of Garfield, NJ, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out and delivers them to me."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in because the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them.
Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Lodi, NJ volunteer fire department composed mainly of firefighters over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these older firefighters, passed fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched in amazement as the old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance that was as if they were fighting to save their own lives Within a short time, the Lodi old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman accomplishment he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly firefighters.
A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. The 'on camera' reporter asked the fire chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Well," said the 70-year-old fire chief, "the first thing we're going to do is fix the brakes on that darn truck."
06-01-2009 08:53 AM
Most lawyers are pretty offensive already . . . that's their job.
You know i have been saying this to my family for the longest time and yet they still come up with some "good" reason why I'm wrong