A joke for anyone having a bad day (just to cheer you up)

A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy… So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game…  The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he
politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.  The lawyer persists
and says that the game is a lot of fun.

‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me
only $5;  You ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.’

This catches the Jamaican’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he
agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question.

‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the moon?’

The Jamaican doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a
five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it’s the Jamaican’s turn.

He asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’

The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all the references he knows.  He uses the airphone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.

After one hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes up the
Jamaican and hands him $500. The Jamaican pockets the $500 goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.

He wakes the Jamaican up and asks, ‘Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?’

The Jamaican reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

note i am jamaican and i hope no lawyers get offened by this

:smileyvery-happy: that’s pretty good.

“note i am jamaican and i hope no lawyers get offened by this”

Does anyone really care if a lawyer is offended? :wink:

@gwk1967 wrote:

:smileyvery-happy: that’s pretty good.

 

“note i am jamaican and i hope no lawyers get offened by this”

 

Does anyone really care if a lawyer is offended? :wink:

Gotta have a disclaimer… lawyers will come after you… its their job 

@conversionbox wrote:


@gwk1967 wrote:

:smileyvery-happy: that’s pretty good.

 

“note i am jamaican and i hope no lawyers get offened by this”

 

Does anyone really care if a lawyer is offended? :wink:


Gotta have a disclaimer… lawyers will come after you… its their job 

 

You took the words right out of my mouth, gwk. :smileyvery-happy:

Most lawyers are pretty offensive already . . . that’s their job. If they weren’t, you wouldn’t want them defending or representing you.

Like Jim Croce’s “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”, you want the “baddest man in the whole damm town”. :stuck_out_tongue:

musiclord: that’s a good joke.

Here’s one you may find funny.

One dark night in the small town of Garfield, NJ, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, “All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out and delivers them to me.”

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in because the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them.

Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Lodi, NJ volunteer fire department composed mainly of firefighters over the age of 65.

To everyone’s amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these older firefighters, passed fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched in amazement as the old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance that was as if they were fighting to save their own lives Within a short time, the Lodi old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.

The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman accomplishment he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly firefighters.

A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. The ‘on camera’ reporter asked the fire chief, “What are you going to do with all that money?”

“Well,” said the 70-year-old fire chief, “the first thing we’re going to do is fix the brakes on that darn truck.”

well mags1230 you were right i am luaghing my head off
:smileyvery-happy:

 Most lawyers are pretty offensive already . . . that’s their job.

You know i have been saying this to my family for the longest time and yet they still come up with some “good” reason why I’m wrong